Relativists, absolutes exist. For instance, you are an absolute moron.

When contradicting beliefs clash, there is a certain species of person who is compelled to attempt to mediate the situation by jumping in and asserting that, actually, both sides can have their cake and eat it too. After all, they say (having had their head filled somewhere along the way with postmodernist garbage), the truth is relative, or reality doesn’t matter anyways because it is permanently beyond the reach of human understanding. Please spare us your relativistic platitudes. Different people believe different, mutually exclusive things because humans perceive and interpret reality imperfectly, not because reality is duplicitous, magically manifesting new truths to align with people’s delusions. The fact that people have diverse beliefs is a symptom of flawed human perception, not proof that reality is strictly whatever you feel like believing at any given moment. If you feel the impulse to spew such bullshit, keep your mouth shut. Though you mean well, all you can accomplish by pulling out that particular brand of hyper-political correctness is obfuscation and a muddying of the waters of intelligent debate.